Three reasons why social media shouldn’t be your therapist

By Michael Oberschneider, Psy.D.

With technology being so present in our lives these days, it can be tempting to turn our friends into virtual therapists when we are in a bad place or need help. And while it’s perfectly fine to reach out to friends on-line for general support, it’s entirely another thing to seek guidance for larger mental health problems.  

If you personally struggle with depression, anxiety, or alcoholism/substance use, or if your marriage is in trouble, or if your child isn’t doing well, etc., your problems won’t be adequately addressed on social media with a comforting comment, a “Like” or an empathic emoji. In fact, if you follow bad advice, your problems could get worse.    

According to the Pew Research Center, nearly 70 percent of Americans currently use social media with YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and TikTok being the top five platforms.  But just as WebMD and Wikipedia shouldn’t be your cardiologist, dermatologist or pediatrician—Facebook shouldn’t be your therapist.  

Keep the following three points in mind the next time you find yourself wanting to turn to social media to address a more serious problem.  

Mental health treatment is private, but social media sites aren’t: Psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers and counselors are all bound to uphold the guidelines put forth by the federal Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996.  HIPPA is in place to protect the confidentiality and security of healthcare information. Like Las Vegas, what you say in therapy stays in therapy, and HIPAA makes sure that happens. But what you share on social media is anything but private and there is no guarantee that your public postings will be treated with respect or held in confidence.  People you don’t know at all may be able to access or read your public postings and comments, and what you put out there could go viral.
    When you say something to a screen or in virtual reality or when you post something on-line, it may seem less real, but whatever you put out there for the public to view could remain there for a very long time. While your therapist will use the information you share with him or her in therapy sessions to understand and help you, the same cannot be assumed for those in your social media world.  

Your therapist is professionally trained to help you, but your on-line connections aren’t:  A therapist undergoes several years of advanced schooling and is trained and credentialed to assess and treat mental health problems. Unlike an on-line friend, a good therapist doesn’t just listen to you supportively but also endeavors to develop and implement evidence-based strategies to diminish symptoms or problems and increase emotional stability and wellness. While most therapists aren’t medical doctors, they know about psychiatric medications and are better suited to help with that topic than a friend.  They can also likely assist with a referral to a psychiatrist if medications appear to be necessary.
    It’s also important to remember that a social media influencer isn’t the same thing as a therapist. That person may or may not have the credentials and knowledge to offer up strategies or to make formal recommendations for serious emotional or psychological problems. Thus, before taking advice from a social media influencer, it’s best to investigate their background. Just because someone on social media is charming, engaging and intelligent, doesn’t mean you should be taking their advice.
    There’s a new phenomenon, dubbed “Instagram therapy” or “social media therapy,” which essentially involves people sharing on-line what they’ve learned from their therapist and/or providing information to help others. While I certainly see value in reading thought provoking or positive emotional healing or wellness messages, memes or anecdotes on-line—I caution folks not to overly rely on social media when it comes to addressing serious mental health problems.     

Your therapist is neutral, but your social media friends aren’t: Therapists treat symptoms, and they also listen to a lot of different things from their clients during the course of therapy. In therapy, patients may express their strong and sometimes negative thoughts and feelings on various topics. While there is no harm in sharing your views with your therapist on larger topics such as relationship, parenting concerns, workplace stress, etc., sharing your views on these sorts of topics on social media could possibly make things worse. 
    I’ve also seen many of my clients’ relationships strained, and even ended, due to political positions and disagreements. With this being a presidential election year—it’s probably best to think twice before posting something that could upset or create conflicts for you on social media.  

What could you do if you find yourself turning to social media too much for your emotional needs?  I often encourage my clients to reach out to friends directly if they need support. Having an in-depth conversation with a close friend or family member, in person or over the phone, will likely be a lot more beneficial than turning to social media.  If your emotional and psychological problems are serious enough, seeking professional help may is the best thing to do.  

Lastly, if you’re concerned about someone you care about who’s over sharing personal information on social media, I also recommend you reach out to them directly for support. Keep in mind that posting information about emotional and psychological problems or functioning can be a red flag signifying something serious. It’s also possible that a post that reads as concerning isn’t; perhaps the post is a venting moment and nothing more. Reaching out privately and making yourself available when you read posts that cause you immediate concern is a good thing to do to figure out what’s going on. 

Michael Oberschneider, Psy.D. “Dr. Mike” is a clinical psychologist in private practice. He can be reached at 703-723-2999, and is located at 44095 Pipeline Plaza, Suite 240, Ashburn.