What Happened to the Kids? A Hard Look at a Softer Generation

By Ken Falke

I grew up in the 1960s and ’70s—a time of big cars, long summer nights, and childhoods spent outdoors. We played until the streetlights came on. We scraped our knees, argued with friends, lost games, and learned from failure. Confidence wasn’t handed to us—it was earned.

Look at kids today and the contrast is hard to ignore. Rising rates of anxiety, obesity, and social difficulty are now well documented. Screens dominate daily life. Free play has nearly vanished. Risk-taking—the healthy kind that teaches judgment and confidence—is disappearing.

This isn’t nostalgia. Something fundamental has changed in how we raise children, and the results should concern us all.

From Active to Sedentary

Childhood used to be physical. We rode bikes, played pickup games, climbed trees, and solved our own problems. Parents didn’t script every moment or hover over every decision. We learned independence the old-fashioned way—by falling down and getting back up.

Today, childhood is carefully managed, scheduled, and sanitized. Kids move from one tightly controlled activity to another, often with little room for imagination or autonomy. “Play” is increasingly digital, not physical. Independence is replaced by constant supervision, and confidence too often gives way to fragility. Even well-meaning parents sometimes make things worse from the sidelines.

The Collapse of Community

Equally troubling is the loss of community. A generation ago, most families were anchored by shared institutions—churches, civic groups, sports leagues, or neighborhood traditions. These weren’t just activities; they were character factories. Kids learned responsibility, teamwork, service, and leadership by showing up and being accountable to others.

Over time, trust in these institutions eroded. Scandals, lawsuits, and polarization drove families inward. The vacuum didn’t stay empty for long. It was filled by social media, video games, and online “communities” that offer connection without commitment. Kids are more connected than ever—and lonelier than ever. The places that once built character now compete with Fortnite lobbies and Snapchat threads.

The Digital Damage

Technology itself isn’t the villain, but its grip on childhood is unprecedented. Kids no longer gather at the park; they gather online. Constant connection has replaced presence.

The consequences are visible everywhere. Childhood obesity has surged. Anxiety and depression are rising. Teachers report shrinking attention spans and increasing behavioral challenges. Today’s kids have unlimited access to information—but information alone doesn’t build wisdom, confidence, or character.

What We’ve Lost

We’ve traded independence for supervision. Free play for screen time. Community for isolation. In the process, we’ve stripped kids of the very tools they need to thrive—confidence, resilience, and belonging.

It’s not that kids have changed. It’s the world we’ve handed them.

The Way Back

We don’t need to recreate the past—but we do need to reclaim its best lessons.

That means strengthening, not dismantling, institutions that teach responsibility, service, and moral clarity. It means giving kids room to roam, to struggle, and to learn from their mistakes. It means choosing outdoor play and real friendships over another hour on a screen.

Most of all, it means remembering an old truth we’ve allowed ourselves to forget: it takes a village to raise a child.

Kids raised by a wider community—neighbors, coaches, mentors, and peers—gain accountability, belonging, and purpose. Shared responsibility doesn’t just build stronger kids; it builds healthier families and communities.

And we need to stop outsourcing childhood.

We cannot hand it over to iPads, Xboxes, or TikTok. We cannot expect politicians or tech companies to fix what we’ve broken. Raising kids isn’t the government’s job—it’s ours.

Every generation worries about the next. But today’s kids aren’t weak by nature. They’re growing up in an environment that makes strength harder to develop. If we don’t change that environment, we’ll keep raising kids who are more anxious, more dependent, and less prepared for life.

The solution isn’t complicated. It’s community. It’s discipline. It’s letting kids be kids again—free to play, free to fail, and free to grow.

Because if we don’t fix what we’ve broken, we’ll hand the next generation a future they’re not ready to carry.

Ken Falke is the founder of four award winning companies, two for-profits and two nonprofits. He is also a 21-year veteran of the US Navy Special Operations Explosive Ordnance Disposal community. Falke is currently the chairman of Boulder Crest Foundation, an organization focused on the teachings of posttraumatic growth. He is also the co-author of “Struggle Well: Thriving in the Aftermath of Trauma” and the author of “Lead Well: 10 Steps to Successful and Sustainable Leadership.”