Ask Dr. Mike

By Michael Oberschneider, Psy.D.

Dr. Mike,

Our son completed neuropsychological testing when he was three years old, and he was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. He’s now a rising First Grader, and my husband and I are still trying to figure out next steps for him with school for this fall.  

Our son’s therapist is recommending that our son attend school because of the services he needs to help him with learning and socialization. Our family is also pushing us to send him to school.  

But we think going to school might be too much for our son to handle all at once. He’s very sensitive and shy, he has idiosyncrasies due to his Autism (e.g., repeating movie lines, memorizing historical facts, toe walking, etc.), and he sees the world as being very black and white when it comes to rules and the way things should be.  

We’re afraid he won’t fit in, and we’re afraid that he will be bullied. What are your thoughts on home schooling in our situation? If we do home school, what programs do you recommend?  What age do you recommend integrating into school? 

– Help in Loudoun

Dear Help in Loudoun,

As you likely know, with autism, the sooner problems are identified and treatment is implemented the better, so it’s good that you had your son tested at a young age, and that he’s in therapy. Research has repeatedly shown that early diagnosis, and services can provide an autistic child with a better life.  

There are advantages and disadvantages to homeschooling. The advantages are manifold and include your being in complete control of your child’s learning and social experiences, your being able to individualize and tailor a program to your son’s unique strengths, challenges and interests, and your being able to pace the school day with breaks and varied activities based on your son’s needs and abilities.  

You write that your son is shy and sensitive, so being able to provide the love and support he may need when he struggles emotionally with presented material is also a positive. Overall, your son will experience fewer distractions and fewer stressors should you choose to homeschool him.  

There are, however, disadvantages to homeschooling a child with high functioning autism in that homeschoolers can struggle with a lack of social interaction, an increased sense of isolation, uneven learning and learning gaps, and increased struggles with attention, concentration and task persistence.  

As a child psychologist, I’ve worked with many homeschoolers over the years, and providing adequate social opportunities toward increased growth is certainly attainable, but it can be difficult to manage over time.  

Your son’s therapist is correct that your son would have more access to services and supports, should he attend first grade at school than he would if he were homeschooled.  As a student with autism within Loudoun County Public Schools, your son would qualify for an Individualized Educational Plan with supports and accommodations to fit his unique learning challenges and needs. There are also several fine private schools in the area for children with autism and special needs that your son may be a good fit with.  

I respect where you are and the decision to homeschool your son this coming year is a personal one that only you as parents can make; in my opinion, gathering more information will help you get there.  

Perhaps you could schedule a meeting with your son’s therapist to discuss the different options in determining which first grade option fits your son’s needs best. I also recommend that you meet with the local public or private school you’re considering to better understand what they can offer your son.  

As far as home school programs go, I think it’s best to work directly with an educational consultant or advocate who specializes in working with special needs children in selecting the best possible program.  

In closing, your husband and you would also probably benefit from meeting with a therapist or psychologist for separate parent guidance work to assist you with this, and with the many other challenges you will encounter developmentally in raising a child with special needs.  

Keep in mind that the research on autism has shown that classroom instruction and socialization alongside neurotypical peers is important for children with autism, especially children who are higher functioning and who have the capacity to thrive in school.  

I certainly understand your reasoning for homeschooling now, but homeschooling entirely throughout your son’s elementary school years may not be the best thing for him. Eventually integrating into a school – as long as it’s the right fit and school – could pay back in dividends when it comes to your son’s continued cognitive, social, emotional, and behavioral functioning and growth. 

Michael Oberschneider, Psy.D. “Dr. Mike” is a clinical psychologist in private practice. He can be reached at 703-723-2999, and is located at 44095 Pipeline Plaza, Suite 240, Ashburn.