The Good, the bad and the ugly of competitive youth sports

By Michael Oberschneider, Psy.D.

As a psychologist, I frequently work with children and teens involved in competitive team sports, and while there are certainly advantages to being a great athlete, there can also be a number of challenges. 

The Good

The positives of youth sports are manifold.  Research studies have shown that highly athletic children and teens do better academically, socially, and emotionally, and are more physically fit when compared to those who do not participate in competitive organized sports.  

According to Niko Eckart, Founder and Technical Director of Virginia Revolution Soccer Club in Loudoun County (https://varevolutionsoccer.com/), “Team sports are a great source of confidence building, character development and social interaction.  All of these traits are important to instill in children at a young age. We at Virginia Revolution Soccer Club truly believe in exposing children to the positive aspects of team sports at an early age.”  

The research supports Eckart’s experience. Competitive high school athletes display greater self-confidence and self-respect, possess significantly more leadership skills, graduate at higher rates, and actually end up earning more money later in life than their non-athletic peers. 

One study found that former competitive high school athletes earn somewhere in the ballpark (pardon the pun) of 5 to 15 percent more across their careers, than students who did not participate in organized sports. That study did not find higher earnings for students later in life for any other extracurricular high school activity.   

The Bad

Competitive youth sports can be very time consuming.  When a child or teen athlete goes from the recreational level to the competitive level in any sport, free time becomes harder to find.  Conditioning requirements, nights and weekends being booked with games, travel and daily practices, altogether leave most competitive youth athletes little to no time to participate in any other sort of activities.  

Between fees, equipment, travel, etc., competitive youth sports are expensive.  One research study found that some families are spending as much as 10 percent of their incomes on their children’s sports.  With around $1000 to $20,000 annually, that study revealed what a lot of parents know too well, that the investment into a child’s athletic endeavors can place a strain on a family’s finances.  

The Ugly

The emotional commitment to a competitive team sport, beyond time and money, can also be great.  While the pressure to perform, and to be expected to give 110 percent – can increase a child or teen’s grit and resilience, it can take a toll.  If not managed, the stress can lead to a host of larger psychological problems and harmful behaviors such as anxiety, substance and alcohol use, steroid use, and eating disorders.  According to Eckart, “We have a wide variety of talent and aspirations within our club. Some kids love to play soccer every day – all day. Some just practice twice per week and use soccer as an alternative sport. I believe any sport has to be fun. If your child does not have fun, he or she will fall behind in their development and ultimately quit the sport. The higher their enjoyment the more the athlete will invest their own time and will succeed.” 

Even with the right approach, getting hurt while playing sports competitively, is also a reality for our youth.  It is well accepted that the risk of serious injury increases with contact sports such as football or hockey. But injuries can occur for any sport.  Overuse injuries are actually quite common in competitive youth sports and injuries can become chronic. 

I have worked with many professional athletes over the years as a psychologist, and several of them are adamant about not allowing their children enter their field for this reason.  A highly successful athlete one expressed to me that he is in constant pain, due to the injuries he sustained in his career.  It is also a reality that the likelihood of a concussion increases when playing contact sports; and recent research has found a link between playing tackle football in preadolescence and later developing chronic traumatic encephalopathy.  

Excessive parental pressure and strained parent-child relationships can also be an ugly aspect to competitive youth sports. It is important for parents to reflect on their own motivations, and behaviors when it comes to their child’s participation in competitive sports. 

Eckart acknowledges the stress of competitive sports on the parent-child relationship, “Striking a balance between working hard in a competitive sport and having fun is very important.”  He said, “We are setting expectations at the beginning of each season with parents and players.  We want our players and parents to enjoy games and practices. The more parents positively support their kids, the better the experiences are.”  

Our children are extensions of ourselves, and what we want for them can become emotionally blurred with what we want for ourselves.  

It is also important to remember that regardless of how talented your child is in a given sport, his or her decision to continue to play or not, should not be yours alone to make. Sometimes even the most gifted child may want to stop playing a sport; and if they’re stopping for a good reason, then it is best to be supportive. 

I am a huge fan of competitive youth sports, but I also know that balance for children is essential for happiness and success.  If a child or teen’s functioning across the most important areas of his or her life is good – their emotional, academic, and home life – then adding a competitive sport into the mix is fine. In my experience, working with competitive athletic youth, the children that have natural talent, passion, and good social skills, most often do best.  

Michael Oberschneider, Psy.D. “Dr. Mike” is a clinical psychologist in private practice. He can be reached at 703-723-2999, and is located at 44095 Pipeline Plaza, Suite 240, Ashburn. 

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